you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
How does one acquire holy water?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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