He asked to "fluff my boner.."
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
