It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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