google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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