i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
