even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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