Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
