I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Im part way to drunk.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize