there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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