He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
