STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
