She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
