Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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