Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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