Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize