I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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