Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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