she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
