All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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