come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
