I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
