Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
