I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
