Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
