so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
