lets start a swedish sibling band together
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
