....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just pee around me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
