he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
