We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
