i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
should my penis look like a turkey
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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