Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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