I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
