New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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