If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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