great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Oh god it's open bar.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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