I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
