Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
