He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
