im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
