it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
pray to the hookup gods
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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