all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
