I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
