y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
