Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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