Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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