i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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