i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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