You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
