I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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