so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
