Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
