I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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