Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
