if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Randomize
