i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
