i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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