She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Randomize
