he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
