Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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