Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
