so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
