It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
